Day 85 - The beach

Day...
I have no idea what day it is sometimes anymore... The time has no value here really. Its just because I dont really have weekends here. My days off are random. Well, I was off Monday-Tueseday and now working until Sunday again. Hha, thats a strange beginning for a blog I must say.
I had a wonderful Tueseday!!! Rosie took me and Nathalie to the beach (not the same one I went on my birthday)! It was beautiful there, whoah, a bit windy I must say but beautiful! And the little town next to it was just sweet. I think at one point I will take a bus there and go on an adventure... Maybe a towel and swimming clothes as well! I mean like I said to Paul here, that in Wales you never know when you get a nice weather, so when you get one you have to seize the moment and run somewhere to enjoy it!!! ;)
I have actually met some people outside our B&B finally. Well, I still struggle with remembering names but thats fine! Feels good to be with people who doesnt work with me. I love love love my B&B family but sometimes I get a feeling that thats all here. But it has started to change. Yayaya!
So 19 days and Im back for 10 days. Hihi, 10 days of not cleaning toilets. I can´t wait for that. Seriously, its been a bit too much lately. You have NO idea how messy some people are. They leave their trash everywhere. Literally. And they pee like they dont care that someone has to clean after them... Yuk! :D But a little break will do me good I am sure. And then I can continue cleaning toilets... ;) Actually it was quite weird, I was working alone yesterday and I enjoyed it. Had music in my earplugs and just danced and singed while working. It was awesome. Cleaned 2 rooms, baked 3 cakes, made a huge amount of tomatosoup, cleaned boatshed and chapel, greeted 4 lots of guests etc. Plus a little amount of random things I had to do. And I didnt feel lonely at all. Daddy protected me Im sure...
Hey friend. If you wanna do something with me while Im in Estonia please let me know. I dont have a lot of time there and I won´t and can´t run after every friend. Sry, but thats how I feel. I want to have a little freedom, but if you do want to meet and hug me then let me know k? Coz the next time in Est for me will be in December!!! ;)
Hih, I found out that I will attend 2 weddings in one week in the end of October. Thats gonna be interesting. Back from Canada I have to get over jetlag in 5 days coz then I have another wedding to go to in Wales! ;) Lovelove love it!
This really is a strange little post, so many random news and paragraphs. Oh well, gotta have one of these once in a while! I am about to go to work soon. Its very early right now and I dont have internet here so Ill post it in B&B! I dont know, we had some sort of powercut on Saturday and since then I can´t catch any connections. Guess it was illegal anyway! :D
My head is empty now. It really is early believe me. Im not gonna give you the time coz you might freak out! :D haha, I would... Empty Kirsi, that doesn´t happen often coz I usually have something to say. But not today. All is just a piece of random information which doesn´t even have a meaning to any of you! :D Ok, maybe it does...
We are about to have some big changes in our B&B. Workwise. Some good, some not so good for me... haha. But I think its about time for me to learn to be flexible!!! And I need some stretching and where else can I find it but with my family?! :) So I am learning and my heart is healing in the process!! Coz we all need that. You know that scripture: Iron sharpens iron?? Well, thats how it is here. My irons are sharpening me. And sometimes its painful. Sometimes I want to scream inside NOOOO, I DONT WANT THIS CHANGE! But then something changes and I feel more clean, more pure. Coz He removes the crap and replaces it with LOVE! And I feel angry sometimes. And then He comes and whispers, "Hey love, come and have a walk with me" and He calms me down. Coz He knows my hurts and pains... It is so wonderful how He knows! And you know, in bad times, in crappy times, we HAVE to learn to worship Him as well. Being a worshiper in good times is no problem, right? But bad times, ooh no, then we dont believe. Actually we do believe but we refuse to see the truth. Thats how it is with me. So we walk this walk on our own, being angry and unsatisfied.
Let me tell you, He deserves our praise ALL the time! Coz then He can show His love and mercy. And He is a LOVING dad! Sometimes we choose the hard way. And that sucks, my friend! I know! I have something going on right now and I cant talk about it. Im not ready. I think I will soon. Probably not here. Have you been in this point in your life where you feel you have been there before? Thats how it is with me now. I have been there 20 times at least. Trying to fill this one place with something thats not right. You know, like replacing it?? So here I am, learning again! I guess we will learn all our lives. We will fail all our lives. And yet again, He comes to us all our lives, knocking and praying that we would open our doors... :) Dear, take His hand, He knows the way better then you do!
This blog is long, but its ok! You dont have to read it, but probably you will, coz you know that somethings says "dont stop", so you wont. You will read it til the end and I hope you will be encouraged. And motivated to not give up in your stupid or weird situation!
Hugs. And my dear Estonian friend, SEE YOU SOON! ;)
Kirsikirsi