R e l a x

After my last post. Well, lets just say its been crazy! A wedding in Holland (roadtrip through Latvia and Germany), twice in Pärnu, and Jaanipäev in Saaremaa. And that all happened within 2 weeks. Now this week has been a bit slow-down-Kirsika-week. Well, kind of. My mind is going crazy with 3 weddings I need to attend to in July. A lot of songs to prepare etc etc. But I can do it. Right? Kirsika, you can do it! ;) Breathe-in-breathe-out.
I wish I could tell you the best news in a long time. But I cant. Not quite yet. Its to do with my parents. But all in due time. Im just so excited for their future and I gotta say so should you be! ;) I am also excited for Maria-Ben who started their journey together. And Im super excited for Vaarika-Christopher who are getting their lives settled so well in Canada. Through hardships but with God! So now its me. Me, myself and I! I really need guidance and peace about my future coz otherwise Ill be homeless in 2 months. Haha, well, I know, I wont be but kind of... ;) No need to go deeper into that. Coz my Daddy loves His little girl so much! He loves her like crazy! My kind of crazy!
Oh boy. What to say what to do. I kind of would want to apologize for my lack of communication lately. But heck. I am me and we all make mistakes. And Im learning. And processing. And going through major changes in my life. In my heart. In my head. Figuring out so many steps.

But you know what. Life is good as someone likes to say to me a lot! ;) Life is not all butterflies and ice cream but pretty much. I gotta learn to let go and breathe. I have started to relax more. Meet friends. Enjoy the weather. I ran ab 3-4 km yesterday. I am doing things. I am living and loving.
And well. Ill be alone for 4 days starting tomorrow. Finally some time alone just to be. Cant remember that kind of time.
So my friend. Little or big. Male or female. Relax a little. I need to learn the same. So lets do it together alright? ;)

Its Tuesday and I still cant spell it right.

I always write Tueseday instead of Tuesday and now when I look at the word Im like even the correct version seems wrong. I dont even know why Im talking about that when I should be talking about something else...
I had a really good week in Pärnu. Just to say I went for a day and I ended up staying for 6 days. Haha, how flexible am I? I think I can say VERY! I mean I had my beach-stuff in my bag. No money, no clothes, no make up, no nothing. Except a few bits and pieces. And I stayed for 6 days? All I can say is that I have wonderful friends who like to take care of me! :) My family (its like this song that goes something like "Its a big big house with lots and lots of room, a big big table with lots and lots of food...)! Thats how I feel at Veedlas! And of course nothing tops coming back home and knowing my own mum has prepared food for me and I know I have a closet full of clothes! ;) And I definitely got some crazy tan!

I will pack my stuff today again. To go to Holland. I am so excited to travel by plain again. I love traveling in case you havent understood that already! Im gonna see my very precious Maria getting married to the love of her life and Im gonna see Holland for the first time. Amsterdam, better be ready! I mean its me who we are talking about! ;) Im so gonna have my red nails and red lips this time and Im gonna feel good about myself! Real good!

Oh I also want to share a bit of what Im doing in Pärnu. Its not like I go there to just sit around! Which I also do but not only! ;) So I go to a church there. I have a church now! WOW. A PRAYER ANSWER! A big answer. But not only. I am accepted there not because of what I do but because of who I am. And I am Kirsika so thats kind of a good thing right. ;) On Fridays there are youth meetings called Youth Reality. So I have been there quite a lot of times now in the last 3,5 months and also helped a bit. Sometimes with worship, sometimes Ive shared something... And on Saturdays Ive been to Sindi a few times now. To Sindi Sport 1-9, its a wonderful event for kids from Sindi who come together to play sports and also to communicate a bit. More sports less talk though! I have joined a few games but mostly Im there to just be with my presence, to walk around and to just communicate and be myself! Haha... Not that I could be anything else anyway! ;) And then ofc the Sundays where the church comes together as a family. To hear the word and to worship and to be in fellowship and among family! :) So thats my time in Pärnu! Plus tons of other stuff I do there, take sun f.e and enjoy the water! Yeah, I kind of write random things now but my head is swimming today with all the things I should do but instead Im here writing a blog! ;)

Alright! Hugs from me and be courageous this week! Try new things, go for a run f.e. if you never dared to coz you thought you cant! Well, you can! ;)

Its June already. Now where did May go? I have been really bad with writing lately and even now I struggle to find words. Not that I dont want to. Oh boy I do want to let you know about my life and doings but somehow this time its more personal. More inner. Probably more than ever... And you know what, maybe its a good thing. Maybe I am finding my place. In general.
I have spent most of my free time in Pärnu. I am not gonna go into details, but oh, how I love it there. The feeling of home I have is huge! Being surrounded with youth, with life. And water. Oh that blue deep blue water. And church. I finally have a church I want to belong to. A prayer answer. A desire that I have had for many years finally seems to find an answer. A beautiful answer. I am just walking in favor right now and the thing is that yes, there are days I dont even see any beauty and freedom but my heart tells me that I am in the right place doing the right thing. I already have a joke with a friend about how much I use the phrase: "I feel it in my heart!" but heck, I do. I do feel it in my heart! :) Its a beautiful thing you know.
Summer is gonna be interesting. I have a few things ahead of me. 3 weddings to attend to and some other events. So excited for Maria and Benjamin for their wedding in 1,5 weeks! Holland, here I come! ;) Or rather, here we come with the whole family plapla, but its gonna be good! A little roadtrip!
I am actually suppose to write my work-report right now but ofc I found an excuse to write a blogpost instead. Haha, and all that cleaning I have to do in my room, right?! ;) So much about that huh.
Anyway know that you are loved. I will never tire of saying that. YOU ARE LOVED! So very freaking much! And Ill try to write again soon... ;)