Essu hakkas täna kell 7:50 rääkima, et tema tahab multikaid vaatama tulla. Ja tuleme siis elutuppa ja ma panen arvuti tööle... ja kell on 7:00... SHOOT! Tegelikult nii ju ongi, sest oli kellakeramine. Oeh, kuidas ma ei mäletanud. Ja multikaid ka ei tule mingi enne kahte tundi. Päris tore!
Homme on FB! Eks ma annan sis ülevaate, kui mitu kirja jms jura mul seal on selle 7 päevaga, kui ma ei ole käinud. A ja ma panen endale piirangud peale. Mingi 30 minutit iga päev, no more! :D
Igal juhul kell on nüüd 7:01 hommikul... vägev
http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/pwp2/view/MemberPage.aspx?coupleId=5205228278115127&MsdVisit=1 = see minu ja Timi pulmakodukas muide! ;)
31.10.10
29.10.10
Ma vist...
...hakkan vanaks jääma. Olen terve reedese päeva telekat vaadates veetnud. Stupid huh? Ärkasin kell 7.16, kui Essu minu kaissu tahtis pugeda ja siis pidime juba üles tõusma, et ta kella kaheksaks lasteaeda saada. Selline hommik ja päev siis. Minu reede.
Minu reedeõhtu aga tuleb huvitavam natuke. Toon kohe varsti Essu koju ja siis teen talle süüa ja siis hakkame joonistama, multikaid vaatama ja siis tuleb pesu aeg ja panengi ta tuttu. Ja nii suht iga päev.
Ühesõnaga terve nädal on veel ees ja siis lõpeb mu 2 nädalat lapsehoidja tööd. :)
Minu reedeõhtu aga tuleb huvitavam natuke. Toon kohe varsti Essu koju ja siis teen talle süüa ja siis hakkame joonistama, multikaid vaatama ja siis tuleb pesu aeg ja panengi ta tuttu. Ja nii suht iga päev.
Ühesõnaga terve nädal on veel ees ja siis lõpeb mu 2 nädalat lapsehoidja tööd. :)
28.10.10
4 days
Now it has been 4 days. I decieved today for 1sec. I just clicked on FB page to see how many letters and notifications... 5 letters and ab 20 notifications. I am getting unpatient :D On monday I get to read all this stuff then. Not fair. Hahaha.
27.10.10
3 days
Ive been 3 days without FB... Going crazy, seriously! :D I mean its like I want to know whats going on there. And Ive pressed a few times accidentally on FB page and then it clicked that Im fasting... haha... So I still havent been there really! So I mean in the beginning of next week I probably will have like 50 new notifications or more. Addicted. I know. :)
25.10.10
23.10.10
so...
...here is the thing.
Im tired. Im tired of some stuff in my life. Im tired of having no fire. Tired of telling not the whole truth about my heart-condition. And tired of people not caring about people. Tired of being at home. Tired of running between places to be in a contact with the people I love.
I am tired of singing songs that have no meaning to me. I do love worship. Thats not what Im saying here. Once Katja told me that she doesnt want to sing if God isnt telling her stuff into her heart. I know what she says. Ive been there AND I am there. I am made to worship. Its just sometimes I am singing songs and actually doesnt mean it... Have you heard JASON UPTON song that starts : ... tired of telling You You have me, when I know You really dont... If my silence is more truthful...
Well, thats how I feel. Im tired.
And I feel a huge sadness in my heart. Somehow I feel I have been left alone. I have family. Yes. I have friends. Yes. I have a fiancé. Yes. BUT all of them are going on with their lives. And Im sitting here. with no changes. NO fire in me to go on.
Yes, I do wait Fathers Heart Conference in Rakvere. And I know it wont be just another conference. It will be a place of healing.
And I miss my friends constantly. Living in Tartu was easier. At least I had them when I needed them and even when I didnt need them for any certain reason, I still had them close. Now I have to drive 1,5 hours to see any friends at all. It makes me sad and lonely.
Oh and one more thing. I think way too much. Thoughts of sadness, lonelyness and something that I cant say here.
I need a change.
Oh. And 2 weeks at home with Ester and Morri. Not helping a bit.
Im tired. Im tired of some stuff in my life. Im tired of having no fire. Tired of telling not the whole truth about my heart-condition. And tired of people not caring about people. Tired of being at home. Tired of running between places to be in a contact with the people I love.
I am tired of singing songs that have no meaning to me. I do love worship. Thats not what Im saying here. Once Katja told me that she doesnt want to sing if God isnt telling her stuff into her heart. I know what she says. Ive been there AND I am there. I am made to worship. Its just sometimes I am singing songs and actually doesnt mean it... Have you heard JASON UPTON song that starts : ... tired of telling You You have me, when I know You really dont... If my silence is more truthful...
Well, thats how I feel. Im tired.
And I feel a huge sadness in my heart. Somehow I feel I have been left alone. I have family. Yes. I have friends. Yes. I have a fiancé. Yes. BUT all of them are going on with their lives. And Im sitting here. with no changes. NO fire in me to go on.
Yes, I do wait Fathers Heart Conference in Rakvere. And I know it wont be just another conference. It will be a place of healing.
And I miss my friends constantly. Living in Tartu was easier. At least I had them when I needed them and even when I didnt need them for any certain reason, I still had them close. Now I have to drive 1,5 hours to see any friends at all. It makes me sad and lonely.
Oh and one more thing. I think way too much. Thoughts of sadness, lonelyness and something that I cant say here.
I need a change.
Oh. And 2 weeks at home with Ester and Morri. Not helping a bit.
20.10.10
Vihm
Sajab. Nii mugav on toas olla. Tean, et pean õhtul õue minema, sest 5-6 ajal läheb mul buss tartusse. Armastan Tartut, sest Tartus elavad mu kallid sõbrad. Ja hetkel ka mu Tim. :)
Aga enam ei armasta kottide pakkimist. Armastan hetke, kus juba kohal olen, aga mitte hetke, kus peab alles minema hakkama, bussidega jamama ja kõige selle eest ka maksma. Tartus käimine ei ole odav. 180 EEK edasi-tagasi + tartu linnaliinide piletiraha + toit! Ehk siis ikka läheb. Olen paar päeva seal ja tean, et 500 eek on läinud. Ja seda on veel miinimum-öeldes.
Jään esmaspäevast 2ks nädalaks Estriga koju. Ema-isa lähevad Soome sssõpradele külla ja kogudustesse teenima.
Olen kuidagi sellises ootavas seisus viimasel ajal. Ootan konverentsi. Ootan Vaarika tagasi tulekut. Ootasin emme terveks saamist. Ootan pulmi. Ootan veel midagi... Kogu aeg ootan ja ootan. Mis siis ikka...
13.10.10
Vali Vabadus
4 years ago. My graduation. The time I was set free.So I did it. I gave lectures about eating disorders. 5 times telling my story isnt easy. I didnt cry or anything, it was just a bit weird. Seriously, how do you tell girls that you didnt had your period for 2-3 years and your weight was just 44 kilos when you were 18 years old. Not nice things or not comfortable things.
SO I sat there on my first lesson on Monday and I had all kinds of thoughts in my head. WHAT should I tell them, where should I start. I know, Im gonna be more clever next time, Im gonna make some internet stuff to show them and some powerpoint stuff and some keywords to myself because in so many times I lost where I was going. But all of them listened. Not one of them looked bored. Because it was MY STORY. My story of freedom. How He set me free.
Some of them had questions. Some of them didnt say anything. BUT I said something to all of them. I didnt tell them how they HAVE to live their lives. I just told them how beautiful they looked and how this world is messing that up. How everything around us tells us what we have to look like and what measures we have to have. BUT we have a choice to make. We can choose to go into this addiction (eating disorder is like any other addiction) or we can choose to stay the way we were made and maybe do a little sport instead.
I love my God, my Daddy, who set me free 4 years ago so I could be me today. I love that I am engaged now. I love it. I love that I have a wedding to attend to next year on the 4th of June. How great is that? Hah? :)
I love that I can eat and pray and love (even though I disliked the movie)! :)
10.10.10
Mixer and blender
Since so many things have been going on I decided to write a blog about it.
My mom.
I love my mom dearly. She is one of the most amazing person in my life since she gave me life when nobody else wanted me. She carried me for 9 months and she gave birth to me. I love her. And now something is causing her to stay in bed for days. Its been 5 days now since she collapsed. Wow. It is crazy. Its the first day today when she is able to go to the toilet with the help of my dad. And she ate my macaroni and cheece. Which made me happy. I have been home now helping my dad to take care of home, Ester, mom and Mr. Morrisson. It is not an easy job. And first time in my life I realize that the job my mom has been having here at home as a MOM... well I put it sofly: IT IS CRAZY. I am tired after 5 days. And imagine my mom, 5 years! 5 YEARS...
I pray that my PAPA will heal her. Every inner part of her life...
Eating disorder.
I am going to Põltsamaa tomorrow. I was asked to give 5 lectures about eating disorders in a local school. I am thankful for this opportunity and in a same time I am scared. I have never talked to teenager girls about this stuff. I have prayed to God for Him to give me opportunities but this is the first time Im really doing something to influence the youth today. AND I am thankful just a bit scared.
I realized yesterday that Im not gonna tell them what to do and what not to do. I am called to tell my story, my testimony. This was my life and now Im passing it on. I am excited.
Timo.
I miss Timo. He is working nowadays. He has a job in this cafe in Tartu called CAFE TRUFFE. And I must say Im a bit jelaous. I know plaplapla, jelaousy is not good in any ways, but I mean he is handsom and these kind of cafes... shalala kabumm... He has gotten 2 mobile numbers already from pretty girls... Who wouldnt be jelaous? Anyway I am. Ok, just a bit... Because I know he loves me me me. ;) ;)
We are getting married next year on the 4th of June. The date is official now. :) And am I happy or am I happy?
I am a planning freak. Yes. I am watching pics and thinking of what to have and what not to have, every single day. I am already looking forward for the 2 days Im not home next week... :D But I love it, I mean I can dream and I know my daddy in heaven will fulfill these dreams. :)
What next?
I have no idea because I just dont. I know that right now Im staying home helping my parents as much as possible. I love them and Im gonna be around as much as they need me. They dont have a job now and so dont I.
I know Im gonna get married next year but as for so far... God knows. :)
Bye
My mom.
I love my mom dearly. She is one of the most amazing person in my life since she gave me life when nobody else wanted me. She carried me for 9 months and she gave birth to me. I love her. And now something is causing her to stay in bed for days. Its been 5 days now since she collapsed. Wow. It is crazy. Its the first day today when she is able to go to the toilet with the help of my dad. And she ate my macaroni and cheece. Which made me happy. I have been home now helping my dad to take care of home, Ester, mom and Mr. Morrisson. It is not an easy job. And first time in my life I realize that the job my mom has been having here at home as a MOM... well I put it sofly: IT IS CRAZY. I am tired after 5 days. And imagine my mom, 5 years! 5 YEARS...
I pray that my PAPA will heal her. Every inner part of her life...
Eating disorder.
I am going to Põltsamaa tomorrow. I was asked to give 5 lectures about eating disorders in a local school. I am thankful for this opportunity and in a same time I am scared. I have never talked to teenager girls about this stuff. I have prayed to God for Him to give me opportunities but this is the first time Im really doing something to influence the youth today. AND I am thankful just a bit scared.
I realized yesterday that Im not gonna tell them what to do and what not to do. I am called to tell my story, my testimony. This was my life and now Im passing it on. I am excited.
Timo.
I miss Timo. He is working nowadays. He has a job in this cafe in Tartu called CAFE TRUFFE. And I must say Im a bit jelaous. I know plaplapla, jelaousy is not good in any ways, but I mean he is handsom and these kind of cafes... shalala kabumm... He has gotten 2 mobile numbers already from pretty girls... Who wouldnt be jelaous? Anyway I am. Ok, just a bit... Because I know he loves me me me. ;) ;)
We are getting married next year on the 4th of June. The date is official now. :) And am I happy or am I happy?
I am a planning freak. Yes. I am watching pics and thinking of what to have and what not to have, every single day. I am already looking forward for the 2 days Im not home next week... :D But I love it, I mean I can dream and I know my daddy in heaven will fulfill these dreams. :)
What next?
I have no idea because I just dont. I know that right now Im staying home helping my parents as much as possible. I love them and Im gonna be around as much as they need me. They dont have a job now and so dont I.
I know Im gonna get married next year but as for so far... God knows. :)
Bye
6.10.10
Huvitav
Ma olen viimasel ajal Jumalale mõelnud. Ja küsinud mõttes, et kuidas Ta saaks minu lugu kasutada. Kasutada nii, et ka teised sellest kasu saaksid...
Ja Jumal vastas. Sain üleeile kõne Põltsamaa noortejuhilt, kes küsis kas ma tahaksin sinna kooli minna loengut andma teemal TOITUMISHÄIRED. Ja ma ei hakanud edasi küsima, lihtsalt ütlesin JAH. Sest kui ma ise olen Jumalalt võimalust palunud ja tema on mulle võimaluse andnud, siis... Ok, pean tunnistama, et natuke kardan, sest ei ole kunagi ju mittekristlaste ees sellest rääkinud. Ja pean Isalt tarkust paluma... Et kuidas ja millest peaks rääkima. Kas kõigest või osaliselt... Aga ma ütlen, ole teinekord oma soovidega ettevaatlik, need lähevad täide! ;)
Olen Mustvees praegu. Naudin sügist. SIIN ON SÜGIS NII ILUS. Ma ei saa õuest silmi ära... Lihtsalt nii ilusad värvid ja sügavsinine Peipsi on õue peal... Huh, armastan siin olemist. Selline tunne nagu aeg on seisma jäänud ja midagi hullu ei pea tegema. Ja see tunne on hea.
Emmel-issil ka rahu ja rööm südames. Neil on Isa pere, kes neid toetab palves ja südmes ja sõpruses. Ja neil on mingi imelik tuur praegu, hullult mööbeldavad kodus. :D Eemmn, ehk selleks, et aega parajaks teha? :D
Olgu. Ilusat sügist, mu kallid musid ja nupsud :D
Ja Jumal vastas. Sain üleeile kõne Põltsamaa noortejuhilt, kes küsis kas ma tahaksin sinna kooli minna loengut andma teemal TOITUMISHÄIRED. Ja ma ei hakanud edasi küsima, lihtsalt ütlesin JAH. Sest kui ma ise olen Jumalalt võimalust palunud ja tema on mulle võimaluse andnud, siis... Ok, pean tunnistama, et natuke kardan, sest ei ole kunagi ju mittekristlaste ees sellest rääkinud. Ja pean Isalt tarkust paluma... Et kuidas ja millest peaks rääkima. Kas kõigest või osaliselt... Aga ma ütlen, ole teinekord oma soovidega ettevaatlik, need lähevad täide! ;)
Olen Mustvees praegu. Naudin sügist. SIIN ON SÜGIS NII ILUS. Ma ei saa õuest silmi ära... Lihtsalt nii ilusad värvid ja sügavsinine Peipsi on õue peal... Huh, armastan siin olemist. Selline tunne nagu aeg on seisma jäänud ja midagi hullu ei pea tegema. Ja see tunne on hea.
Emmel-issil ka rahu ja rööm südames. Neil on Isa pere, kes neid toetab palves ja südmes ja sõpruses. Ja neil on mingi imelik tuur praegu, hullult mööbeldavad kodus. :D Eemmn, ehk selleks, et aega parajaks teha? :D
Olgu. Ilusat sügist, mu kallid musid ja nupsud :D
1.10.10
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)