March winds...

And the March winds are blowing real strong... I must say Im scared of how time goes by so fast. Its been a year since I found myself a church, a place I call HOME. This month has definitely been a month of decisions. Ok actually this year in general. And only good has come out of it. I guess the sentence I would use for this year is : the best is yet to come. And truth be told THE BEST IS YET TO COME. I want to wake up/call alive all my biggest dreams this year. I want to start working on my biggest dreams. Go for something, go for something new. I need your help. I need people around me to encourage me. No one can do things alone. We all need someone to tell us that we CAN DO IT. That we have what it takes. And the thing is, we all do have what it takes. We all.

I am finally doing some things for myself. I went to a theater last week, oh and I went to 2 (+1 on the previous week) concerts and I just enjoyed all 3 of them. It fed my soul. I am 26 for goodness sake, soon 27. I love youth. I love church. I like my job. But I need something that is just for ME from time to time. We all do I guess... And seeing Pride and Prejudice on a stage was just way over my mind. Such a precious evening...

Mmmmmh and ofc I am so very much looking forward to go to Creek. It will be awesome. It will be one of the highlights this year. And it seems that once again I am the youngest one... Guess there will be a lot of taking care of me and looking after me, oh and do I mind? Not at all. :D

I still have my upanddownmoments and I guess people are used to this already. I had a conversation with a friend last night and asked if I am wining too much... Sometimes I think I am. But then again. I am not a robot. I have feelings. I have emotions. I have all that every woman has. YouknowwhatImean and maybe you dontknowwhatImean. But heck I am not a robot and never will be. I will still wine occasionally and I will still be me every day. And if someone tries to change me (except God) then I assure you that it is not working. ;)

Hello February, goodbye February.

Seriously. Where did January go? And now February as well? Almost done with. 2014 is just going by so fast... Ok, Im maybe just seeing it that way right now; anyway, its been pretty awesome start to this year. In January I had my trip to Sweden and I saw Gods hand upon it so strong and firm. And now Im back to Pärnu, to socalled real life and you know what, its not so bad at all. ;) Who said that real life, that right now, has to be hard, bad... Yes, I have my emotional up-and-down-moments and I am an emotional being. Sometimes Im on a roller-coaster and I feel so bad about it especially when my loved ones have to be around me at that time BUT I am me and I am awesome (as one of the coolest people from Norway whom I have met only once, would put it).
When I think about 2 things that have happened in February I get so excited and also a bit nervous at the same time. Im just not understanding why God loves me so much. Why do I have HIS favor. I probably should not share about the first one so publicly but its something to do with HIM assuring me I am at the most right place in a right time. And strongly assuring, not just my own thoughts or something. And second thing happened last night when I got an email saying that someone Ive only met ONCE just paid for my whole trip to Athens, Creek in April (Ill tell more about it at one point maybe just not now). THIS is Amazing! I am amazed by His love for me. Oh and dont get me wrong, its not that oh, I got this gift etc, that now God is Good. Oh now. He is always, forever good! But He loves me through so many different details that sometimes its easy to miss them, right. I mean I look out my window each morning and know Im loved. But seeing that trip paid, this is just over my mind. This is not some little money. But this is His money. And when he puts someone in your heart, do not hesitate to support them.
There is some good stuff going on in my church and I believe that God is telling us all here that new times are coming. He is healing some hearts and He is restoring some past pains. I believe that. I really do. I need Him in every area. On my own I am greedy. I am mean. I am selfish. Well. Through Him I am loved. I am restored. I am beautiful. I am something more then just the number on my scale. You know.
May February end good for you. May you be COVERED by His blood daily (oh not literally but may His cross take away your sins, your pain, your hurts)... May you know you are loved loved loved! May I know that every single breath I take.

Just when you have NO idea where to get food for the day (just to say I needed winter-boots so no leftover money for this week) a friend sends you a text-message with a question if you need any food for lunch. YES YES YES. Faithful Father, why do I worry about tomorrow? Or in my case, today! :)
HAVE A BLESSED, FAVORED, OVERWHELMING, good, peaceful week! And fun and adventurous as well... ;)

Oh hello.

I have not been here for a while. Its because sometimes life happens.
I was away for a little more than a week and in Sweden this time. So as most of you know, I work in Jenny Kruse charity shop to support Jenny Kruse mission boat in Estonia. It is meant to be an actual mission boat to sail in the waters and spread the gospel and in last summer it sure did that. Oh and about the trip... I had a chance to go to Sweden with the people I work for and our captain and then one precious lady Anne from the organisation Shalom. The first half of the trip we were in Oskarsham; basically I was the only one who didnt know the people so I had to be alert all the time to new faces ect. Was good though, a bit stressful with all the board-meetings and translating I needed to do (coz without thinking I promised Ill help with that, haha) etc but I also got to be a part of one day with the youth from the local Bible school. Alari shared about the New Covenant and I shared my testimony after that plus lead worship and that was fun, that was where I felt home and knew its my chance to be the channel of His love. :)
After 4 days we traveled to another city and oh boy I cant remember the name, haha, you will survive. I know. ;) Anyway there we met with another bunch of good people and felt so home (thank you Fredrik and Marina, you are SO precious)! So much worship time, so much sharing and caring and pouring of Gods love. Got to know a lot about Salvation Army and feel it was necessary. The trip ended on Tueseday this week when we finally arrived home, to Pärnu. I went straight to work but felt refreshed and ready to continue here... Many ideas in my head and in my heart, so we will see what works!

But if there is one thing I am seeing about myself lately, well, let me share it.
I cannot be forced into doing something. I close up and nobody cant get me out of my shell then. Even if I try to come out I feel like a wall hitting up. Worship. I LOVE worship and I love singing but I am not so spontaneous as people think I am. I sometimes dont like myself for that and hopefully one day when someone asks me to bring out my guitar, I can do with a smile while being all relaxed BUT right now I get stressed. There are times when I dont but usually the first reaction of mine is a stressball emerged. :) Just saying, so dont get offended if I say NO from time to time to music, to worship. I am not saying no to God, at least not trying to but to people I do say no.
Also on our great trip I noticed how I closed up when these situations came around. I felt so bad about it, but first of all I am not that confident (dealing with that) in my guitar playing and feel incomplete so often... Anyway realizing I cant handle pressure so well. And I cant hide my emotions so well, hahah, which makes the first one a bit hard. ;)
But I love challenges because I know they make me who I am... I dont like the mindset that "Kirsika, you should be ready all the time to worship" because I am not a robot, BUT I do understand the desire behind that sentence. The desire to know and love God with all our hearts, to worship Him 24x7 with our lifestyles. Maybe not with a guitar and a song, but with our lives...

Friends. Have a great weekend ahead. I am trying to rest and also work a bit with some projects. Other then that, you know what, Life is good. Life is so good and so precious. Value it and breath it in. ;)
Kirsi

Being bullied myself as a little girl this video made me cry out loud early in the morning.
Hope you are not the one who walks away. Hope you are not the one who starts filming. Or the one who ignores.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisZTB4ZQxY