Sparkle

Just a little glimpse into my past. Thats exactly what I needed today. To remind myself of who I am and what Im capable of; Which is quite a bit - truth be told. I have grown so much. I was NEVER the ugly duck as the saying goes. I was not. Even if I believed I was, I wasnt! (So werent you btw). But lies do eat into our souls when we grow up and enventually we start to believe them and act on them and we forget who we are. We forget our names. I did.
So yes. I accidentally just stumbled upon that picture yesterday and it was taken quite a while back, 2006, June. What a gorgeous young woman on it. Beautiful smile, warm heart and eyes that say, I want to live and I want to love. I want to see the world and I never wanna get hurt again. Not by people, not by their words, not by their actions. A young woman who is so ready to jump into something so big and adventurous its over her head.
And even though there has been so many tears, so many ups and downs, broken hearts and heart aches that comes through that, SHE is still the same woman. With much more experience in life, yet so vulnerable and open-minded to new things. And she has dreams, big dreams. Beautiful dreams. Which she cant do on her own. But she is ready. She thinks she is. She hopes she is.
So today. As Im looking at that picture. 2006, June. A girl who has just been out from anorexia for 2-3 months. Me. Its me. All beautiful you are my darling, there is no flaw in you. No flaw. There is stuff thats not good, stuff that needs mending, but all impatience, all imprudence, all imperfections make her who she is.
I, you, he, she, needs to be reminded that from time to time, moment to moment. The value. All sons and daughters of God, shine bright. Shine.

I said on my first post this year that this blog might not have that Kirsi-spark. BUT IT DOES. How can it not. :) Alright. Im gonna shut up now. Maybe. Ok. Not really. but have a wonderful weekend and enjoy yourself for a change, ok! :)

WHOAH!

Whoah! Thats a long time. Last time I wrote here was 2014, March and its 2015, January, right about NOW! Its not that I ever wanted to close my blog. Its not that I havent wanted to write.
But I just havent. I have been through some heavy rains and winds and hurts (and also fun and laughter and joy) this last year and sometimes writing takes a toll. It is like opening a wound for everybody to see.
But Im here. Right now. This moment. Its 23:31pm, 3rd of January, 2015, as Im writing again. I guess my blog will never be the same again. It will never have that Kirsika.spark, but it will always be me. The girl, who actually has so much to say, so much on her mind and heart. Maybe a little fearful of what others think, maybe a little insecure but with a crazy big heart and even crazier laughter... Yep, I still sometimes laugh like a little horsey! I bet u would agree with me!
So. I still live in Pärnu. Ok, lets take that "still" away because I actually want to live here. I work in Jenny Kruse charity store as for the moment, and go to Life Centre /my church, I try to do as much singing/music on my free time as possible - this is my place of rest - that MY THING. Always been and always will be... Writing lyrics, songs, words, thoughts mostly on my phone these days so basically I do still write. Its not like I JUST stopped! ;)
Okey, I will keep this one short. Just because I want to.
Live, breathe, drink good coffee and laugh a lot, really - laugh!!!!