Just when you have NO idea where to get food for the day (just to say I needed winter-boots so no leftover money for this week) a friend sends you a text-message with a question if you need any food for lunch. YES YES YES. Faithful Father, why do I worry about tomorrow? Or in my case, today! :)
HAVE A BLESSED, FAVORED, OVERWHELMING, good, peaceful week! And fun and adventurous as well... ;)

Oh hello.

I have not been here for a while. Its because sometimes life happens.
I was away for a little more than a week and in Sweden this time. So as most of you know, I work in Jenny Kruse charity shop to support Jenny Kruse mission boat in Estonia. It is meant to be an actual mission boat to sail in the waters and spread the gospel and in last summer it sure did that. Oh and about the trip... I had a chance to go to Sweden with the people I work for and our captain and then one precious lady Anne from the organisation Shalom. The first half of the trip we were in Oskarsham; basically I was the only one who didnt know the people so I had to be alert all the time to new faces ect. Was good though, a bit stressful with all the board-meetings and translating I needed to do (coz without thinking I promised Ill help with that, haha) etc but I also got to be a part of one day with the youth from the local Bible school. Alari shared about the New Covenant and I shared my testimony after that plus lead worship and that was fun, that was where I felt home and knew its my chance to be the channel of His love. :)
After 4 days we traveled to another city and oh boy I cant remember the name, haha, you will survive. I know. ;) Anyway there we met with another bunch of good people and felt so home (thank you Fredrik and Marina, you are SO precious)! So much worship time, so much sharing and caring and pouring of Gods love. Got to know a lot about Salvation Army and feel it was necessary. The trip ended on Tueseday this week when we finally arrived home, to Pärnu. I went straight to work but felt refreshed and ready to continue here... Many ideas in my head and in my heart, so we will see what works!

But if there is one thing I am seeing about myself lately, well, let me share it.
I cannot be forced into doing something. I close up and nobody cant get me out of my shell then. Even if I try to come out I feel like a wall hitting up. Worship. I LOVE worship and I love singing but I am not so spontaneous as people think I am. I sometimes dont like myself for that and hopefully one day when someone asks me to bring out my guitar, I can do with a smile while being all relaxed BUT right now I get stressed. There are times when I dont but usually the first reaction of mine is a stressball emerged. :) Just saying, so dont get offended if I say NO from time to time to music, to worship. I am not saying no to God, at least not trying to but to people I do say no.
Also on our great trip I noticed how I closed up when these situations came around. I felt so bad about it, but first of all I am not that confident (dealing with that) in my guitar playing and feel incomplete so often... Anyway realizing I cant handle pressure so well. And I cant hide my emotions so well, hahah, which makes the first one a bit hard. ;)
But I love challenges because I know they make me who I am... I dont like the mindset that "Kirsika, you should be ready all the time to worship" because I am not a robot, BUT I do understand the desire behind that sentence. The desire to know and love God with all our hearts, to worship Him 24x7 with our lifestyles. Maybe not with a guitar and a song, but with our lives...

Friends. Have a great weekend ahead. I am trying to rest and also work a bit with some projects. Other then that, you know what, Life is good. Life is so good and so precious. Value it and breath it in. ;)
Kirsi

Being bullied myself as a little girl this video made me cry out loud early in the morning.
Hope you are not the one who walks away. Hope you are not the one who starts filming. Or the one who ignores.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisZTB4ZQxY