Why such a title. Dunno, couldn´t think of anything better, haha!
It is sunny outside. After 2-3 weeks of rain it feels wonderful and refreshing to wake up to sun! I think I already love today! Yesterday was hard on me... I was helping in B&B and suddenly felt Im just gonna fall if I won´t go to bed, so I used my friend´s room and just slept 1+2 hours... I am thankful for this time coz otherwise I wouldn´t have been able to continue. I think I am tired, I think I have worked quite hard and somehow my body is a bit tired. See, I told you for me doing physical work is something new. Yes yes, maybe 1-2 times a week I did a bit of this and that in Estonia as well, but not 5 days a week 8 hours each day. ;)
So here I am, in my heart I´m counting days now. Its 5 more til my parents and Ester are here. Y-day I had a fun Skype-talk with them and ayayayy she is a sweetheart, showed me her tooth that came away (yukyuk) but she is so amazing. She´ll be 6 this year and next year she has a school-road ahead, wow. WOW!!!
Now Im not sure this blog has any point, BUT I know that you haven´t left yet so continue with me...
I´m gonna make me something. I read this amazing book "Redeeming love" (Did I tell you I have read ab 10 books in 60 days, I am a book-a-holic) and I got an idea from there. I´m gonna make me a Daddy´box and if this is ready Im gonna show it to you and explain what it is! Ok? I think you want to have your own Daddy´box after that... :P
So oh oh, its 8:08 and I slept a bit poorly tonight but its ok I guess since I got to rest yesterday during day-time... Did I tell you I have almost paid all my Canada-tickets money back??? :D Yay, God is gracious and I am so thankful. I can´t believe Im actually going and she is actually getting married. Had such a good conversation with V the other day. About girly stuff and wedding and my dress and her dress and shoes etc. I mean I miss her, ok? She is still my lil sister even though she is gonna be 23 in September... She is still my little Vaarika!!! And doesn´t matter that she is taller than me and looks more grownup probably! :D I know I know, I am pretty too but she has this feminine side... VAARIKA if you are reading this know that I LOVE YOU! You are my baby! I know I treated you quite bad sometimes by trying to be your mum but I did it out of love and I felt you needed my protection! haha. Oh well, cannot change the past but we sure can live in the present and live differently in future!
Anyways she has this amazing dress for me, its gonna be just beautiful on me Im sure! I am a woman, what do you expect from me? Of course I am excited to have high heels and a pretty dress, we are aloud to have these feelings!!!!!!!! And if you think you are not aloud to think you are pretty then you are wrong... Remember? All beautiful YOU are my darling and there is no flaw in you! Keep that in mind next time! :) I am only telling this coz I know from my own story something very deep and hurtful. All my life I somehow believed this lie that I am not aloud to think Im pretty. It was written in my heart and I believed it. And suddenly realizing that God thinks Im beautiful made it turn around. I know now that I am amazing, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Even though I sometimes still doubt that and won´t allow myself to believe it, then deep down I know it now! I dunno if you understood me, but here it is: PSALM 139 read it and memorize it!
Honeyhoneyhoney Im gonna go now. You are deeply and amazingly loved by someone far greater you know! And since my heart has grown then by me as well, heheh! ;)
K
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