Day 26: Fight

This blog is about fighting. I am fighting. And I am tired in a way. And thats why I want to give this fight over to Daddy coz I can´t anymore. It is about eating. And about myself. The way I see myself. See, I have told you that years ago I had anorexia, an eating disorder that wanted to kill me and almost did. And now 5 years later, I am still occationally in the battle. Because the thoughts want to come back and take away the joy that I recieved after coming out of this crap. See, all of us have been through something. Maybe smoking, maybe alcoholism, maybe drugs, maybe someone died you reallyreally loved... And sometimes it all just wants to come back. The thing is that I am working hard here, it is a lot of physical work that I do daily and because of that my body wants more food, energy. And I have been eating a lot more here than in Estonia coz there was NO physical work in my daily life. And you have no idea how bad it is in my mind. Constant fight, what if!!! What if I gain now, what if I eat too much, what if.... and what if... It is not ok. IT IS NOT OK I tell you! If you go through something like that, then know that YOUR Daddy wants to hold you! He wants to hold you so close to HIM and whisper things like: I love you, I wont let go, I will fight for you, I will be on YOUR side! Trust the truth, trust HIM, ok? Promise me, that you will trust the truth instead of lies! The lies are just devils way of getting you down! DON´T LET HIM!!!!! I love you dearly, my sweet boy and girl, this is what YOUR Daddy says to you right now, so trust that! MANY MANY hugs from me to you today. Be childlike, go run and play with Him today, ok?! :)