So basically I haven't been doing much in the last 2 days. Organizing my next month activities, sunbathing, eating candy and ice cream, cleaning the apartment, looking at some stuff, dreaming, sleeping, walking, visiting relatives... Its been quiet and much needed time actually. After the rally of packing, unpacking, going and coming its nice not to go anywhere for a week. It all starts again in a few days when Im gonna pack for Latvia (which is not 100% sure yet)... But until then just nice relaxing... Like playing my guitar and painting my nails. :D
But what I really wanted to say is that I feel so blessed. I went for a long walk today (which I do a lot lately, maybe just trying to stay fit unconsciously) and was just reflecting back to a few things in my life. Like today f.e. I received the sweetest little package from a friend far away. With the perfect nail-polish. And the funniest thing is that I have just so started to LOVE nail-polishes, I mean I have always loved girly stuff but lately all I do is change color so it was like a gift from Daddy! :) And its deep red - just my color! :) So as I was walking I felt so thankful. So loved and it was as if Father was telling me - "I love you girl. You can be as girly as you want AND I LOVE YOU. You are lovable and beautiful. And I want you to know it so I have surrounded you with people who will show it  to you." HECK, really Dad? I mean He even cares about my nails...
Which reminds me another story my mum told me a few months ago... She really needed a manicure and she didnt have money for that. The next moment someone handed her an envelope with exactly the amount of money she needed and she could use it for that. Isnt it wonderful how HE cares about the smallest details. He loves femininity. He loves all the smuchy-gushy-shushy-stuff that we women love. He loves seeing me in a red dress being beautiful and all. He even likes when I wear a little make-up. Yep. And oh man. Being feminine is the most precious thing ever. I have so started to like dresses and skirts and red lips and pink toe-nails... haha. You can laugh with me and over me but Im telling you there is something about being a little girl all over again. For some its purple hair and colorful clothes. For some its deep red lips. For some heels. And Im telling you now - its OK to like all that stuff... :)
Uh Im really happy. I love that I can discover that side because I have somehow been afraid of it. Like I mean I always wear my "every-day-normal-clothes" and keep the nice stuff for "special occasions". Well, and for what? Why? Some deeper fear that people would notice me then? :)
Yesterday as I was walking (more like running-walking, haha) someone behind me blew the horn for me and at first I was a bit upset and then something inside of me said that heck, its alright. I do have a nice butt and why should I be ashamed. :D haha, these are my exact thoughts. I wanted to be angry and I wanted to show my middle finger (good little Kirsi, haha), but as I kept on walking I realized that of course I dont want men to see me as a sex-object BUT I cant hide. I cant wear buttoned-up shirts and long trousers all the time. I am who I am and I mean, Im never gonna start showing off my body BUT I can be a woman. I can be feminine. And I can actually like attention. It is not bad. Yeah blabla there are different kind of attentions. And prob the horn-blowers weren't with the best motives. But I will take it as a compliment. :D

Ok I need to stop. Do you own conclusions and... have a nice evening. ;) hehe