Day 132: Its time for a POST!

I mean it. Wow, that was a long break from blog (ok I actually came to check blog for a few times, hahahahaa) and FB! I needed it. I tell you something changed in me when I fasted from these 2 pages. And had to change coz I was desperate for a change. Well... I mean being away from home, Estonia can sometimes be so very challenging and then you try to do all kinds of tricks to stay in contact and FB can become a little addictive. And I had my reasons to stay away for a week. I was already seeing that in me. I dont wanna discuss any of this in here coz its past and past stays there right? :) And I am doing so much better now then I could have dreamed...

And people dear people, please realize, we live in this world where everything is done by machines, internet rules the world. And imagine if FB would dissapear one day, would you be able to survive? Can you still hold your close ones close to you? I want to be in that point in my life when I dont rely on friendships based on Fb or blog or skype or msn. And I dont want to rely on the likes and messages of that world. I want to have the favor and blessing of my Father and I know that friends stay no matter what. I mean I actually used my time smart while being away. And I saw that it worked... I know Im talking about so many things in a same time but I cant help it. ;)

Oh and that secret of mine is getting better and better. I tell you, in 2-3 months you will all know and... maybe you will be happy, maybe not. Intriguing right? Oh ps! There is no baby news or wedding news or guy news related to that so dont get your imagination pictures too vivid ok? And Bala. Well I tell you what? Come and visit me. You will see yourself why I love this place! I do have some troubled days when Im overly tired or my stomach just dislikes what it has been given or when I totally dont like the work... But I still still still want to be here. I love my family and my home and my friends. And I do love the job as well. Its just very physical. Like yesterday I was on my feet for about 9-10 hours and I slept like a baby at night (though babies dont actually sleep so I dont know whats with that saying, its kinda stupid...). Cleaning, cooking, laughing, messing up, doing good, baking, hoovering, crying, walking, running, keeping secrets. Thats my life here. I love it and sometimes dont. But after 4,5 months Im still here and havent ran away. So what keeps me here? :my heart! I mean, I have peace in my heart. :)

Oh and my days off... It is better now. We have had some nice sunny days and last Friday Paul took me out to eat and we went to the beach and just took nice photos, a long walk. I really like that I have a dad here. He is awesome. :)

And I feel like I am actually starting to belong here. I have my UK number, bank account and yesterday got my National Insurance Number... So it has all started to come together. Awesome huh? Ok, I really want to live in Estonia one day but this is not the day! If you know what I mean. I still dream of many things concering to my beloved country but my time is here, right now, in this place...

I miss many of you who read this now. Know that you are so special and I love you! :)