The real stuff

Ok, so usually we post stuff on FB that we like. We post pictures where we look absolutely beautiful, best outfits, smiles, make up, suits. Or statuses where most people seem to live in a "perfect" world. A-mazing homes, decorations, food, gatherings, parties etc.
But is it real? Is this who we really are? The smiles? Is it all true? I mean if I would post a picture of myself  with baggy trousers as Im wearing right now, with no make up and with not such a big smile, would people like it? Just me with no big fancy stuff on?

I do that. Most of my pictures there and here in my blog are of happy occasions and big smiles. I love smiling, but seriously. How many times are we real? If Id be really real there I think most people would run away from my page. I have wonderful days, I have happy days. But most of my days Im struggling. With deep stuff. Im not happy 24x7. Not at all. Im not doing perfect most of the time. Nope. I have tons of thoughts which have something to do with me being too big or me being this or that and me being not enough. Questions like "am I lovable" etc. Thats my everyday life. Not a big fancy "IM good all the time". Yes, Papa is taking care of me every day and He lives in me and He knows me so well. And I love God and I love my life. But it is far from perfect. I struggle a lot with "who I am and what the heck Im suppose to do" question. Coz you know the fact that I walk with Jesus doesn't make every bad thought and struggle disappear with a finger-click.
So my challenge for myself for today is TO BE REAL. Not hiding my face when Im crying. Not running away. And just being me! With of without make up. With a nice dress or with big pants.