350

350 days in Bala. Not all of them Ive been here of course, I do love to travel and I believe no one can ever remove that bug out from me. Hm Ive been on a plane so many times and I still dont like it. That non-stop sitting and somehow I manage to sit next to some pretty big people usually and that makes it impossible to get out especially when u´re stuck somewhere next to a window. Oh I still remember my mum´s story how when she came here someone started throwing up and she had to hold herself back pretty bad coz that someone sat next to her, haha... Ok, its prob wasnt funny for that person but hey, its past now. :D
Spring has brought all kinds of new feelings into my heart. I was walking around y-day on my own (note. there was no one around) with the biggest smile ever, just listened to some amazing music and teaching and smiled and laughed out loud. Now that is just me. But it was great. The weather here has been gorgeous compared to what it usually is so I just tried to enjoy it all. Take it in and not let go... You know nobody has ever promised that walk with God has to be easy, without no pain, without no worries. Yes, so often we have been taught that in our churches that come to God and EVERYTHING will be solved. But can you imagine people who have SO much to carry around with them, all of their past. And you know, God doesnt give us more than we can handle. I mean he doesnt just come and be like BAMM, Im gonna heal you know and then you deal with the past coz yeah it hurts like hell. No He can take one part of you and heal it and then another part and heal it. Sometimes its too much for us if we would have to deal with everything at the same time. I mean seriously, Im only 24 (soon 25, yes) and I have such a past. Imagine people who are 50, 60, 70. Its not that God doesnt want to and sometimes He does heal everything at once but remember, NOT more than we can handle or carry. Now how in the world I ended up here? HOW? :D Always preaching, haha...
I just remember how in Saaremaa I shared my short testimony (which I should have written down, haha). I am not very good at talking. I can write, yes, all good. But standing in front of 60-70 young people and telling them that they´re beautiful. Hm, who am I that they would listen? But the thing is that Father has given me a testimony, a story of my own. I have something to share. I have a STORY. And a voice (and not talking about my singing here). Once someone told me that after I stop singing I should not run away from the stage coz GOD has a word to say through me and I should start opening my mouth. And heck if thats the thing then I want to obey even if it takes so much from me. But I def should make some notes next time so I wouldnt be all over the place, oh yeah, I was I dont even know where.... ALL I could think of while standing there, was that ALL these people are so incredable I wish they would grasp it and take it in and believe it and actually let GOD tell them that... Not my words, but Fathers.
You know HE is your Lord your God and He so wants to welcome you home. WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN.
Ok I´ll stop now. Yes I´ll stop. You know me a bit prob already, when I start there is no end.
Love you.
Byebye, off to work now.
:)