If worship´s like perfume, I´ll pour mine out on You!

Yesterday morning started as any other. But then I got angry to something and felt like falling apart. I snapped at my mum, I was bitter and spat out some words I never should have. And then apologized, kissed her on the cheek and packed myself in a car. Little car full of 5 people going to Tallinn, to Freedom-event! Then I broke down the second time when I saw other bands on stage. I snapped at my team-member and then I was like, I NEED TO CALM DOWN. I need to shut up for a moment. And a good thing is, when one is down, another one steps up. My mum started praying and peace came. A little peace, but it was enough.
We had our rehearsal. Then the waiting-time started. Around 2pm people started gathering and they just kept coming and coming and coming... Until there was NO space to breathe and move, more then 300 people in a small church. First groups were up and it was just wonderful to see how Estonian people worship God. It was beautiful and precious. It started at 3pm and we got up on stage around 7pm... Whu, long waiting, BUT so worth it. My God is so gracious. So (Im actually shaking my head now, coz I have no words how Big He is).
I have been struggling with many things lately. My eating, my thoughts, my future, my past. And I know Im not worthy to stand in front of people, in front of Him. Im not some BIG woman of God who can bring people into a place of worship.
But the good news is HE CAN! And He is doing that. Again and again and again... He is leading me. He is guiding me and all Im doing, is trying my best to follow. So much happened last night, but what is always number 1 and most important, is that I see, HE USES me in all my imperfection! In all my struggles and anxiety and pain and hurt and anger. He loves me. He loves being with me on stage. He is God. And He is love. It was so beautiful to get that knowledge deep in my heart while I stood in front of 300 people and maybe more. (+ppl who followed online through Pildiraadio!).

Its a new day. I woke up with a sore body, but with a happy heart. A thankful heart. A heart that said to God that He knows best. And He knows it all.
Be blessed. Really. I mean it. Be blessed in your life. In your choices, heart, love, in your journey with Him! Be blessed!