I have been working for the last 2 days. I do not have a normal job where I always know what Im doing. Well, mostly I never ever never know what Im doing. Im going there in the morning and basically improvising all day long. Well, and then again, what is a normal job?
These 2 days have been heavy and hard but its also coz I was not working for the last 2 weeks due to his sickness and mine. So its just strange to be back at work probably and some other things I cant talk about here...

You know what? I have to stop listening to people around me who think they know it all but then come to me and say I HAVE to know my next 10.year plan and if I dont, well, that sucks! When have I ever known what is about to come? I mean had a Skype-call to my crazy Latvian yesterday and what she said made me think... That there are so many people who go through years and years or university or some other big school and then they graduate and God tells them to go into missions for example???!!! That is such a God-thing! Im not saying that its not important to know whats in your heart. It is absolutely very important. What Im saying is that we just NEED to trust God to really come and break through. I cant just keep planning my own life like its only MY life. My life is His! I belong to Him. And if He wants me to go somewhere other than my own original idea I want to be ready for that!
I know what lies in my heart. I know what I want to do. And I know that God knows my desires and also your desires. I couldnt fall a sleep last night. Just kept thinking and thinking and thinking. About why I dont have my own husband, my own place, my own my own my own??? And you know, it was just so much about me, my needs, what I want that I did not have place for God there. It was as if MY life was so important that I forgot to ask God what He has for me. I mean, really, HIS PLANS are way bigger for me than my own plans!
And heck, Im so proud of my parents. Im so happy I have been able to stand together with them on a stage iin front of many many people and share Father´s love. It may seem sometimes that why the heck I have to live here with them still, but you know, its been a blessing. My parents are wonderful and so full of love. I pray to God that as many people as possible would experience what we have as a family!!!
Love, Kirsi