...

I just realized something.
And it might have something to do with my last post.
You know. I will never be the one who is called HOT or sexy. I will never be the one with high heels or crazy amount of make up. I will always choose flat shoes instead of heels and pair of jeans instead of a skirt. I will always love hoodies over nice little jackets and comfortable clothes over silk-blouses.
And it might never change. I cant be someone I am not. I can dress up for a day. I can put all this make up on and wear nice heels. I can do that all, but thats not really me. And if I am not noticed just because I dont do that then who the heck cares. I should be noticed because I am me. Because I am Kirsika. I am so not saying that I dont love being a woman. Oh I get these days when I LOVE dressing up. When I love playing the princess game and feeling feminine and maybe even hot. But I will never choose that over being comfortable. Coz when I do that I dont feel me. I might look tons younger then I am and so what?
Oh all this frustruation over trying to fit in. We so desperately try to fit in we dont even notice we loose ourselves in this game.
I loved the red dress I wore on my sister´s big day. But wearing this dress made me realize that if people notice me just coz Im with a hair-do and make up and with a red dress, then who am I really? In every day life we dont do that. So come out, my little friend. Come out under the pressure of being someone. Of looking like someone else. If you want to wear a hoody go ahead. If you prefer flats go ahead.
And hey, what is hot anyway? It starts from inside. If you are beautiful inside then it should shine from the outside. Because then its not just being HOT. Its being a woman. A Godly woman. A woman with integrity and purity. Why do we so desperatly want to be sexy? I want to be beautiful. I want to be called beautiful. I want to be called a woman who has that special something about her. And thats not being "sexy" or "hot". Its about being who you really are. The real you.
And I think its about time for us to find that out. To find our identity in God. Coz then we are not so desperate of being someone else.
The end.